Handy Mayoring Pamphlet
by BeanTheBean
Summary: Harry, now becoming mayor, has a fistful of tasks to do. He not knowing what to do or how to do it, there is only one thing that can help him: The "Handy Mayoring Pamphlet!" Learn about all the handy things you can do to become a great mayor, as well as learn about all the power you can abuse. Harry won't learn, but you can!


Harry stared up at the fancy looking town hall. It was an average sized building with a clock at the top. There appeared to be a flag pole beside it, but due to faulty weather conditions it remained tattered and torn. On the other side was a machine the size of Harry. The top of it looked like a cat and the electronic screen in the middle of it kept flashing and making an annoying sound. One of the villagers Harry saw the other day stepped up to the machine. "Why can't they just mail these things to you? I have to GET UP every day and WALK over here." the villager said. He was a dark blue alligator with the bottom portion of his jaw red as well as his belly. He wore a blue bar shirt and he did not look happy at all. He stared at the machine. Then looked at Harry. "How the hell do you get em out!?" he shouted. Harry leaned backwards and shrugged. The alligator stared back at the cat like machine. It flashed. POW! The alligator smashed his fist into the machine. Tons of coupons flew out. "Alright!" the alligator cried. "This walk over here might of been worth it after all… MIGHT…" he picked up the pile of coupons and stormed off. Harry now looked at the crushed machine. It was still making that annoying sound, but it was now distorted. "Better fix that." he said. He stepped into the building. Isabelle was at the front desk, frantically playing a game of Tic-Tac-Toe by herself. "Good morning… um… my yellow dog assistant." Harry said, forgetting Isabelle's name. Isabelle looked up. "Oh yes that's right!" she said cheerfully. "I no longer have to start my days feeling alone and abandoned, because we have a NEW MAYOR!" her enthusiasm really made Harry feel like if he screwed up, all the animals would sing Kumbaya around a bonfire with him burning in it. "Yes it is I…" Harry tried to get in the mood. "Your new mayor." "We have so much to do!" Isabelle cried. "Like fixing that machine out in front?" Harry asked. Isabelle dashed towards the bookcase in the back of the office and slammed right into it. Only one book fell out and landed on her head. "Got it!" she said. "Wow, how did you manage to keep all the other books intact on the shelf?" asked Harry. "Oh they're all painted on." Isabelle proudly presented. "We can't afford to fill an entire book self, silly!" Harry got that squinty eyed expression again. Isabelle opened the book and out popped a pamphlet. "Here," she held it out. "Read this!" Harry opened the Pamphlet.

 **HANDY MAYORING PAMPHLET**

(2013 edition)

By: Pam Flit

 **Approval Rating Intro**

When people want to be a good mayor, they actually NEED to be a GOOD MAYOR. But what does one have to do to become a "Good Mayor?" Two words my dudes: Approval Rating. That's right my friends, to be a good mayor, you NEED a 100% approval rating. It signifies the fact that you are ready to do what it takes to become a mayor. It tells people "HEY YOU FLEA RAIDED ANIMALS, I'M READY TO CONTROL YOU!" Doesn't that just scream perfection? Before you can get 100% approval rating, you need to be 100% ready to do some serious crap! "Like what?" you ask. Do not worry! It's actually very easy to get 100% for some reason… let's walk you through it, shall we?

 **Approval Rating Tips**

Ask yourself: "What would a non-mayory person unlike me do to be such a nice citizen?" Well my friend, if you have no absolute clue, let's read ourselves some crafty ways we can!

Water Flowers! It is truly the ultimate combo pack for any nature lover. Watering flowers does not also help your rating, but it also helps the environment from going into a complete downward spiral into a wasteland of nothingness!

Donate Stuff! As one anonymous idiot once said: "It is better to get rid of, than to receive" or something (we may not be accurate here so we apologize) But a handy thing to do to get your rating is to scoop up the first valuable thing you see in your house and drop kick it into your local museum! They'll love it! (If it doesn't break when you drop kick it)

Help Those Residents! This one varies, but in a nutshell it means "Become a slave towards your local residents." They want a gift delivered? Why should they go through all that hassle to MAIL it or walk 10 feet over to their house when YOU can deliver it?

Sell Sell Sell! Grab every legal thing you can sell, and simply sell it! Re-Tail will be happy to accept all the junk you have to offer! What do they do with it? ...um, I've just been advised were not allowed to give that information out…

Weeds, My Dudes, Must I Say More! We all love that feeling of rolling out of bed on a sunny morning, opening the window, and feeling the cool breeze blow against you mixed with the sunny rays of the sun. Looking out the window you see a field of weeds and think: "Wow. I'm so lucky to live in a weed infested town…" The only problem is, NO ONE LOVES THAT FEELING! PULL OUT THEM WEEDS!

Join The Flea Busters! ANYONE can become a flea buster! Just take the online quiz and grab yourself a net! If one of your fellow residents is feeling itchy, make sure to give them a good whack with your net! Even if it's not a flea, they will completely understand you were looking out for them, so make sure to whack everyone!

Draw on the… Bulletin Board! This… uh… this works for some reason… just make sure what you write on the board is appropriate! Because if it's not… well… that's no good…

Town Tune/Flag Let your imagination go wild! No one will judge you on what tune you create or what flag you put up! Villagers may have an impeachment on it, but you'll know in the back of your mind: They love it…

Approval **Rating Complete**

Now that you've done all you need to do, and your approval rating is 100%, then WOO HOO, my friends! You are an officially good mayor! (Unlussofcorseyoublowitallafterbydoingsomethingstuipid)

Take some time to have a party! (If you would like to order the "100% Party Kit", please check the back of this pamphlet) But what power do you hold now that your mayor? Oh boy! More bullets!

Public Works Projects! Build as much crap around the town as you want! You'll mainly have to pay for it all… but not ALL of it… like, more than half! Make sure to follow the boarder limits and please, don't be like that one town that has PWP on top of the resident's homes…

Ordinances! These lovely little contract deals affect the town and the way it operates. They do cost a fee of 20,000 bells but it's worth it to force your town into an early morning. The best part is, you are allowed full physical and mental force is residents do not comply!

Kicking Out Residents! Please don't unless a resident goes too far as to threaten to blow up the nearest Nacho Cheese factory with a Cromwell Tank. That is just not acceptable.

 **Afterward**

Well now you know… so get out there and get mayoring! Remember to follow this simple code:

 **T** olerate

 **W** ith

 **I** mpeccable

 **T** riumph

Meaning: always lead with a strong sense of… well… leadership…

Happy Mayoring!

100% Party Kit Order 1800-555-7131 or www.

This Pamphlet is to not be used for anything other than valuable information towards mayoring. Do not sell this pamphlet in any way for it is illegal to distribute this pamphlet for bells or any other source of income. This pamphlet is for government use only and is not advised to be shared with anyone whom is no in the position to retrieve this pamphlet. We advise not to destroy or damage this pamphlet in any means necessary because apparently there was only 10 ever made.

Copyright NintendoⒸ

Made by the pamphlet makers of Boondox town

Harry put down the pamphlet and stared right at Isabelle. "Must I REALLY follow these standards to become mayor?" asked Harry. "Only to be the very best!" Isabelle reminded. "I do have a question about the selling…" Said Harry. "We can sell… ANYTHING?" "As long as Re-tail accepts it." Isabelle smiled. Harry dashed out of the office and grabbed the destroyed cat machine. He leaped and hopped and ran all the way over to Re-tail. He burst right through the door and startled a pink alpaca who was cleaning a shelf. "AAAGH!" She shrieked. "Is this the store that buys everything for no reason?" asked Harry in a booming voice. "YES!" whispered the pink alpaca. "But please keep it down, my husband, Cyrus, is trying to sleep over there!" In the corner of the store was a long wooden table with a blue alpaca resting his head atop the table, snoring as loud as those monsters who Suck out your intestines. You know the ones… they live in your closets! "Anyway, welcome to Re-tail. I'm Reese, what are you selling today?" asked the pink alpaca. "Yes, well," Harry began. "Any chance you'd like any of these parts from this here machine? It's a bit broken, but I'm sure most of the parts are still good." Reese looked at the machine with a frowned expression, then back up to Harry. "Sir…" Reese asked. "Did you read the sign out front?" Harry stepped out of the shop for a moment and checked the sign. It read "We take EVERYTHING! Except: Coupon Allocating Terminal Machines (CAT machines) and White Sharpie markers" Harry stepped back into the store and picked up the cat machine. "Good. Day." He muttered. Then he stormed out of Re-tail, slamming the door, but not enough to wake Cyrus. Outside, Harry grasped the machine harder. Bits of metal and wire fell to the ground. Having enough of all of this, he threw what was left of the cat machine at a tree. The tree exploded. Disappointed, he picked up a nearby stone and slammed it into the ground. It shattered into bunches and bunches of tiny rock bits. What fell out of the middle of all the ruble made Harry do a double take. It was a bright purple ore. It wasn't an amethyst, it was a new kind of ore Harry had never seen before. The purple was all glowing like and all around it was purple fog circling around it. There were parts on the ore that were dark black for some reason. Harry couldn't understand what this was. He turned back at Re-tail. "I bet I could sell THIS! If they even know what this IS…" he said. He looked at the ore again. The glowing purple hypnotizing him. "On second thought, I'll keep this as a good luck charm." He put it in his pocket, and walked off. Some thoughts entered his mind when walking away. What was this ore? Was it safe to store in his pockets? And did he leave his wallet on the train? All these questions made Harry wonder about his mental health. But knowing tomorrow would be full of more chaos, he walked off into the sunset.

It is July 14, there are 8 chaotic events until Harry makes a big mistake...


End file.
